Waiting to exhale....otherwise known as "the longest post I have ever written".

Where to begin?

I have to be honest with you.....

I have been keeping a secret....

No, not THAT kind of secret.. like, .....that Cottage Living magazine is making a comeback and has named me editor....no, not that, silly! But if any publisher is considering, I would love to join forces (for good, of course) with the infamous Heather Chadduck, former Cottage Living style editor to bring that favorite back!

Now, where was I?

The crazy economy of the last couple years has really affected lots of people, in so many ways....are you feelin' it?

Well, last October, my family got to feel it in a BIG way.

You see, my hubby's entire career has been spent in the healthcare industry, and as we all know that industry has been deeply affected by the economy and recently passed 'legislation' ..... Long story short, my husband was told last October that his job in Minnesota was being eliminated (along with many of his colleagues throughout the country). His 'news' however came with a silver lining....his company was looking for a place for him and would keep him posted....

The news was sobering....and scary....for me but mostly for my husband who had been a successful and dedicated employee and had enjoyed being steadily promoted during his career.

I don't know about you, but my manly man partner has a bit of an ego and boy had it been bruised, big time!

Luckily, we learned in early December that they were placing hubby in a rotational (temporary) position that basically required regular travel to the west coast. Ahhhhh.....we breathed a sigh of relief and felt a bit of calm for the moment.... I got my mind around the fact that I was going to be a single parent, certainly not ideal, but ok because it meant that at least 'we' had a job - albeit, if only temporary. At least we had some time to figure things out and had hoped that in the meantime the company would place him in a permanent postion.

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months.....I have felt so many emotions within me, anger, hope, disappointment, shame, bitterness, fear, panic, resentment, hopelessness, optimism, regret......I could go on.

I coped with the emotions by disconnecting, from friends and from my home, so NOT me - but I felt change was coming whether I wanted it or not and why get closer to people and things if it only meant saying goodbye. Disconnection became my safe place where there was no need to explain 'our situation' to friends and neighbors. My long list of house projects was definitely put on hold, no need to stress hubby out by spending money and frankly, my enthusiasm just was not there to improve a home we may have to leave.


But guess what?

After eleven months enduring the roller coaster of one day feeling hope only to be followed the next by feeling disappointment, WE GOT GOOD NEWS on Friday!

My husband has a permanent position (if there is such a thing?) with his company here in Minnesota. (insert l-o-n-g exhale).

I have learned so much about myself during these stressful months and I can honestly say that I am a better person, wife and mother for having been forced to take this journey. Now don't get me wrong, I hope we never have to go through something like this again. But I know now that it really is the simple things in life that matter the most, that our situation, no matter how hard, does not compare to those who are dealing with the loss of a child, or spouse, divorce, or illness. These last eleven months have put lots of things into proper perspective and made me oh so grateful for things that I had perhaps overlooked or taken for granted.

And while I have shared so much on this blog, I have been uncomfortable with sharing such personal struggles. But I know I can't be alone. Whatever it is that you may be struggling with I hope you find your peace.
21 comments on "Waiting to exhale....otherwise known as "the longest post I have ever written"."
  1. Oh Jill. I'm so happy for your family!! What a trial to go through that for 11 long months. Please tell your husband that I said CONGRATULATIONS! So happy that you all get to stay in your forever cottage amongst your good friends.


    P.S. One should never get my hopes up in such a way as mentioning a cottage living revival if it's a joke. I'm just sayin'. ;)

  2. God works in mysterious ways! :) So glad that you can stay put and exhale....

    xoxo laurie@heavens-walk

  3. That is wonderful news! Congratulations!

  4. God is good.... and you were obedient to him and his plan. As you supporeted your husband and took the reigns over to run everyday life at home it now has come to a compleete circle...where you and your family are able to reap the benefits :) I wish you and your family the best. I know how hard this economy is we are a self employed family here, my Husband is a Glass Contracter and well people just don't need showers, mirrors or windows right now. We remain faithful and loyal and we to know there is a plan for us :)

    Smiles and Blessings,

  5. jill, i'm jumping with you and hubby (as high as my chubby, older legs will allow).

    truly great news.

    minnesota. we have cousins there and they LOVE it. okay, didn't mary tyler moore's character live there? i digress...


  6. Give praise to the Lord! Jill, I am so happy for you and your family! When things happen that you just don't understand at the time, I always think that it was an unanswered prayer, blessing in disguise.


  7. Thank you for sharing this entry. I am facing something similar and its good to remember there is light at the tunnel and that this struggle can actualy make us stronger. Good luck with te new job.

  8. My husband, me and my family have been in this position recently too. It made me feel totally helpless but renewed how I saw everything. I am so happy for you, your husband and family. Thanks for being "real", I really respect it!

  9. Here is to taking your household projects off hold!

  10. Yay for your family!! Minnesota is a lovely place to live (I live in Mankato).

    Hope you can start those house projects soon now:-)

  11. Jo in New Prague, MNAugust 8, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    Jill - I started reading your blog for the first time about 2 wks ago. i started at the end so I'd know you and your family as well as I could but the time I got to the present time. I love your blog! I am so happy you are in Minnesota because I can relate to everything you write about. I am extremely sorry you and your family have had to go through this, and happy that it turned out. I have found in life that every single time something grim happens something better is on the way. Every job I've wanted and didn't get was a blessing because a better one came along. I hope that's the case with your husband. Keep writing, keep taking pics of the house, kids, yourself, etc and now be very happy.

  12. I am sure that was a hard post to write. I am glad for you and your family. Hopefully all the worry is over for you.

  13. Oh Jill that's WONDERFUL news....!!

    I can only imagine how terribly difficult it's been for you....!!

    I bet it's a GREAT relief to be released from that 'holding pattern'....Now you can start PLANNING again....!!

    Here's to 'moving forward'....!!

    Tamarah :o)

  14. Jill,
    That is wonderful, wonderful news!!!!! And I can certainly relate to the anxiety and uncertainty. We have been back and forth between Houston and Seattle (and have two more years of it), and my husband travels ALOT in between. So happy that you can keep those feet planted firmly and relax.. and move on to happy times again!

  15. God is SO good;-)
    I am just happy to have you around still...not that i will be coming to visit in the winter...but hey....stanger things have happened.

  16. Jill, thank you for sharing your struggles and successes with us, it is through these posts that we get to know who "Jill" is a little bit better! I am so happy that your hubby got a permanent position that he can rely on at least for now...and so proud of you for being a single parent that is hard work and you endured...go and celebrate! xo

  17. As a "single mother" of four who's husband is deployed most of the time, I often feel in limbo or out of sorts with others. You are in good company and have a wonderful story to share. Keep sharing.

  18. My Mom and Dad will celebrate 63 years of marriage this year - I think it requires so much love to be supportive. Love conquers all.
    Breathe! Wishing you all the best - and to your husband too.

  19. how hard it is to share things so personal, but I'm glad you did...you are exactly right with what we learn from these situations....congrats to you guys ~ what wonderful news to have on a Friday!!

  20. YAY for you and your family! :-)
    That's wonderful news!

    Love, a former Minnesota girl-

  21. What an inspiration your words are!! We could not face these trials if we did not have faith in God. He gives us these things to make us that strong person He so desires in us. Judy - jhilldesigns.net


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