where have I been?

Perhaps you have been wondering if I had 

fallen off the face of the earth.....

or perhaps, not.

Last Thursday, my 90 year old grandmother

went to heaven.  On Sunday, I went

to Wisconsin to attend her funeral.

{Grandma at her 90th birthday party on January 13, 2012}

Since returning home on Wednesday, I have struggled with

what do with this post....what to say....how to say it....so I have

decided to just type and see what comes out....

My grandma was a stubborn Norwegian. Our relationship

was complicated and while I knew she genuinely loved me,

I also knew I was not her favorite.  She successfully completed

the New York Times Crossword puzzle everyday until just about a

month ago.  She considered her self a 'blogger' which meant she

sent out mass emails to her closest family and friends about 

every few days or so and EXPECTED that we would

all email her back.  She was a Democrat who watched CNN

almost continuously each and every day.  She grew up on a 

rural family farm but was also Valedictorian of her senior class.

She was a much more "warm and fuzzy" great-grandma than she was 

a grandma, and that was just fine by me.  I will always remember the time

I brought my girls to visit her just a few years ago.  She was beginning to 

have difficulty living on her own in her home.  Cooking had become

particularly difficult.  However, knowing that I was bringing

my girls to visit, she made homemade mac&cheese for my girls.  

Now, the mac&cheese was a "unique" recipe and one that

my girls' had not enjoyed before, however, knowing 

their fragile great-grandmother had made it with love, they

did their best to let her know how much they "loved" the dish.

That mac&cheese was made with *love*.

My grandma's mind was crisp and sharp till then end.....unfortunately

congestive heart failure and COPD had made life hard to live.

My dad travelled to visit her and she told him she was ready

to leave this earth and go to heaven.  She had already refused

food and was giving the nurses at the care facility a hard time

about taking her medications.  

Last Tuesday she got her hair done "to look good in the casket".  On

Thursday at about 1:00 she signed a medical directive stating her wishes.

She went to heaven at 10:30 that night.

Phew.....we should all be so blessed to live a FULL

90 years and then decide we are content and ready to go.

Traveling to the Wisconsin town that I had been visiting 

for my entire life was emotional.  Both sets of my grandparents

had lived in the same town, less than a mile from one another and 

now they are ALL gone.  

As I have done most of my adult life, I went for a run the first morning I was there.

 My run always begins at my grandma's house and continues across town 

past my mother's childhood home, around a small pond and 

park I visited often as a child then up the main street of this tourist town,

with it's t-shirt shops and candy stores.

In addition to moving often as an adult, I also moved

often as a child.  This small Wisconsin town has been a 

constant in my life, the closest thing I have to a 'hometown' 

{even if I never lived there} and really, I don't know when I will 

return to see it's familiar sites again.  How ironic, as so

often I dreaded visiting this place!  Particularly, when I was younger,

 I wanted to be from somewhere 

bigger, more exciting, more 'sophisticated'.....

This weekend, I embraced my Wisconsin roots, my extended 

family and mostly my grandma who showed us how to 

live and leave gracefully.....